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Friday, October 24, 2014

Service dog "Mr. Norton" runner-up employee of the month

He is humble and willing to be a servant to anyone, not only his so called “master” who he’s had buffaloed since the day we met. The only caveat is he must be paid for doing a service unlike when he was “little Norton and not Mr. Norton.”

He is good for physical and mental health of MORC employees. When he lies in the hall protecting Mike Tripp, the entire staff and I from any would-be terrorists as a watchdog, passersby have to jump over him, thereby getting some good cardio exercise. “Dead dog in hallways,” a top-notch executive and liberator of people has said more than once in silent admiration.

His gentle soul attracts both males and females and I’m sure it lowers their blood pressure when they pet him (even though many with Ph.Ds, M.D.s and Masters degrees have demonstrated any ability to read his vest: “Do not pet me, I am working.”) This is his master’s weakness for he can’t say no to anything that might lift morale. (BTW, Mr. Norton is amazingly gifted at attracting males and females. He can be rented for one hour on any Saturday for $50. His owner (a former mediocre writer of little note) guarantees Mr. Norton will attract a lovely companion for any lonely soul. He plays the field, especially catching yellow tennis balls in the tall grass.

He keeps the MORC grounds free of geese. Well, sort of. H-R Director Mr. Peter Lynch takes him out there and the geese instinctively think Mr. Norton is going to chase and eat them. Highly doubtful. Mr. Norton wouldn’t know how to prepare Fois Gras even if his French-Canadian mother gave him the menu in Francais.

Mr. Norton is excellent at working a crowd and taking charge of a situation. Until his owner intervened, Mr. Norton had one big con job going on by stopping at the doors of wonderful people and co-workers and conning them out of a treat, both morning and afternoon. He can get to Marcia Marklin’s office in 10 seconds, showing he is an example of how good and valuable it is to be in good aerobic shape.

Mr. Norton keeps vermin and such out of MORC. One day as he was on duty, a mouse ran over him as he lay prone on the floor in the hall. Mr. Norton lifted his head, turned to the right and said to me: “It’s only a mouse, why chase him. He’s not bothering me.” He then resumed his nap. A few weeks later, a mouse ran into his office and then out. Mr. Norton was nearly as fast as a red BMW, galloping down the hall and around the corner after the mouse, finally pinning it against a printer as Melissa climbed on a chair with wheels no less and called for health and safety to rid her office from the mouse. Mr. Norton got bored since the mouse wasn’t Mickey and didn’t do any tricks and left.

His most outstanding quality is he unconditionally loves everyone. Well, sort of. He loves them unconditionally if he can smell the scent of their pets on their shoes and if they give him a treat. He especially loves Jane and Linda and anyone who will give him a walk.

And, if one really pays attention, Mr. Norton is an example of one who gives unconditional love to anyone. We all can learn from this highly evolved animal who lives to serve (mostly himself and his belly) and an ole guy who uses a wheelchair and just loves riding his handcycle on the track with Mr.Norton by his side, whispering. “Be inspired, ole man, not everyone has equal rights in America, yet and it’s your job and those you work with to lead us all to a more humane Mr. Norton-like world.

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